Potties in jail

Thank you for my book, and that it could be a present, and that Aunt Krista could make it for me.  And thank you for my ball, and that we could blow it up, and that we could kick it outside, and that grandma could give it to me for a present.

– Emeth, praying at dinner the day after exchanging gifts with mommy’s side of the family

Thank you, daddy work.  Thank you, pop-pop’s eye.  Amen.

– Annie, reminding daddy that work is a gift (and getting mixed up between mom-mom and pop-pop)

* * * * *

Context: Emeth, Micaela and Annie looking through a book about animals of all sorts and sundry.  

E: Daddy, what’s that!?
D: That’s a crab.
E: Why do crab’s eat people?
D: They don’t eat people.  They would just pinch you if they thought you were going to attack them.
M: Well, if we got it with some toilet paper it would only pinch the toilet paper. [Thinking of all those times daddy smushed a poor pincher bug in the same manner.]

* * * * *

Context: reading Proverbs 17 to children before bed.

D: “Whoever mocks the poor insults his Maker…”
M: Daddy, what’s “mops-the-floor-salts-his-maker”?

* * * * *

Context: children getting ready for bed.

D: [walking past bathroom door, seeing Emeth pull up underwear that looks awfully familiar. Enter’s kitchen.] When’s the last time Emeth changed his underwear?
R: I don’t know.  I stopped keeping track.
D: [goes back to bathroom] Emeth, did you change your underwear upstairs when you were getting dressed for bed?
E: Why?
D: I’m just asking.  Did you?
E: I think I did.
D: Well, where’s the dirty pair?
E: I think I put them back in my drawer by accident!

* * * * *

When I go out in the city for my birthday I want to have fat and butter and nuts and lemon water!

– Emeth, in reference to his upcoming birthday, in which daddy and he plan to take a day in the city

* * * * *

It’s bright in my eyes!  Turn it off!

– Annie, in reference to the sun shining in her eyes in the car

* * * * *

Twinkle, twinkle little star…

– Micaela, to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing

* * * * *

I’m running around a lot because I’m trying to get energy for the day.

– Micaela

* * * * *

Is there potties in jail?

– Emeth

* * * * *

I amn’t.

– Emeth, creating new contractions

* * * * *

I wake up.  I fall asleep.  I wake up.  I fall asleep.  I wake up.  I fall asleep…

– Emeth, on the futility of life

* * * * *

Context: conversation between Emeth and Micaela on the way to church

E: I wish I could be a mailman when I grow up.
M: Maybe when you grow up and become a daddy.  Being a mailman is a lot of work. …
I wonder what I’ll be when I grow up?  Sometimes girls work before they have children.
E: Us don’t have children.  But we are children.

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